Just stuff

It’s been awhile since I updated, but that’s because not a whole lot has been happening (at least, nothing that I can talk about just yet). Since I don’t have anything original to give my adoring fans (you are out there, right? Hello? [crickets chirping] Anyone?), here’s some fun stuff. I’m a big fan of Christian satire and allegory, mainly because it does so well at pointing out some inconsistencies and quite often silliness of what often passes for Christianity. And I must confess, that for me, it hits a little too close too home very often. So first, here’s a “news” article from the great Wittenburg Door, the self-proclaimed “world’s pretty much only religious satire magazine.” Then an inspirational poem to mull over.


Washington D.C. (January 6, 2007) — In a controversy that eerily mirrors the recent dispute over a congressman’s use of the Koran, several Christian representatives have asked to be sworn in on the best-seller, The Purpose Driven Life.

“We were asked to use the most meaningful text in our life,” said Rep. John T. “And, as far as I can see, my Pastor preaches more from Rick Warren than the Bible.”

McGruder and Rep. James R. Newhell of Wheaton (R-Ill) both petitioned Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi to be allowed to use the famous evangelical guidebook in the swearing in ceremony at the Capitol.

Reactions from other Congressman and public figures were mixed.

“I see no reason not to allow others to use their own books — as long as ALLAH AKBAR!” shouted Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn). Rep. Ellison, who is a Muslim, had requested to use the Koran for his swearing in ceremony and is, apparently, the inspiration for the requests from Representatives McGruder and Newhell.

Well-known talk show host Dennis Prager was among those who roundly condemned Rep. Ellison’s request. Prager, who is Jewish, was also opposed to the use of The Purpose Driven Life.

“I don’t understand why a Christian wouldn’t use the Bible, especially an evangelical,” Prager asked rhetorically. “Do they think they’ve used up all the material there?”

Other evangelicals welcome the change.

“This open-mindedness is truly godly,” said Lincoln Bradford, pastor and noted praise-song author. “I hope eventually they’ll use more personally inspiring items – worship music CDs, Ron Dicianni paintings, the “Foot Prints in the Sand” poem. This country and the modern church were founded on a Christian’s right to have a personalized relationship with God – regardless of what’s in the Bible.”

And now the poem

One night I had a wondrous dream,
One set of footprints there was seen,
The footprints of my precious Lord,
But mine were not along the shore.

But then some strange prints appeared,
And I asked the Lord, “What have we here?”
Those prints are large and round and neat,
“But Lord, they are too big for feet.”

“My child,” He said in somber tones,
“For miles I carried you along.
I challenged you to walk in faith,
But you refused and made me wait.”

“You disobeyed, you would not grow,
The walk of faith, you would not know,
So I got tired, I got fed up,
And there I dropped you on your butt.”

“Because in life, there comes a time,
When one must fight, and one must climb,
When one must rise and take a stand,
Or leave their butt prints in the sand.” (author unknown)


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